Design your own mate

I met my husband in 1998, but I designed my husband in 1992.

My bestest friend and I had a fun idea one night. We would write a list of all the attributes that we wanted in our perfect mate and we would NOT settle for less. BFF’s list was well over 100 attributes; mine had a little over 50 items.

What kinds of things did I put on the list? I decided this was to be a serious list so I didn’t put things on it like “Must be cute” or “must be awesome” (I was 22 – “Awesome” was part of my vernacular). Instead, I put things on it like “Must never abuse me physically or mentally” (I had cause – that will have to be another post) or “Must not abuse alcohol or drugs” (again, I had cause- ack that’s gonna be one interesting post).

About a year – maybe a year and a half – after Moo and I got married, I realized that Moo fulfilled EVERY SINGLE ATTRIBUTE on the list. Just last year, after seeing the movie The Secret, I realized that I put things into motion to get the person who fulfilled my requirements when I sat down and made a REAL plea to the universe to have this person in my life.

If you decided you wanted a particular experience or thing in your life, what would it be and what attributes would you want it to have?

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7 thoughts on “Design your own mate

  1. That’s great! I love this stuff! How could you not love it?
    Much before “the secret’, I’ve been aplying these principles (learned from different sources) and it has always helped me.
    I didn’t design my husband, like you did yours, but at one point I realized that I was in a string of relationships getting me nowhere, and the guys were all short and didn’t know how to drive.
    So, I consciously decided that I would only date men who were over 6feet and that could drive a car. And so it happened. I met my husband about four months later. One of the first things I asked was how tall he was – just to make sure he fit my new standards. 😉

  2. That is very cool, good for you for getting everything you wanted! There seems to be a lot power in putting things into words. I don't fully go with the whole Secret thing, but I do thing it has some great points. Being positive & knowing what you want can get you far in life.

  3. I think that’s so amazing that your DH fulfills all of the qualities you wanted. Before I even got pregnant I couldn’t really decide whether I wanted a boy or a girl first–and my husband even joked that we should have one of each. When we found out we were having twins, I prayed so hard that it was one of each. And, guess what? It’s a boy and a girl! Sometimes you really do get what you wish for. Here from ICLW.

  4. That is so cool that it would out that way for you.

    I do want a particular experience in my life. I want to mother a child of my own. I want the IVF treatments I’m doing to work as they are supposed to so that I can have my baby.

    I like this excercise. I will work on it some more.

  5. I totally had the same experience! I wrote a list out, and amazingly enough, it didn’t have anything on it that resembled “dark hair” or “blue eyes” – but much more important things, like, “laughs at my jokes” and “loves kids.”

    I came across that list about a year after our marriage and cried.

    ICLW 🙂

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