I’m imagining this will be the first in a continuing series where I detail things I said I’d never do as a parent. Until you’ve had a newborn screaming at you, you don’t really know what you’ll do and I imagine that as I go, the word “newborn” will be replaced by infant, toddler, preschooler, etc.
So here’s the first thing:
I will never use a pacifier to calm my child.
Ha! This one was dead at the hospital. The hospital where Phoebe was born readily used pacifiers and taught Moo and I several tricks to make her take it when she was really upset.
My mother told two stories about her hatred of pacifiers. The first, involved me. I was about 2 weeks old and my parents gave me a pacifier to settle me down. These were the old fashioned ones that were totally made of brown rubber including the ring, mouth guard, etc. I had been pulling it out of my mouth and screaming, so my Dad – in his infinite wisdom – cut off the ring making it the first ringless pacifier. He didn’t count on his daughter being creative at 2 weeks.
Mom said she was on the phone with a favorite aunt while I was in my bassinet a few feet away. She said that I was noisily sucking on the pacifier when I suddenly became quiet. Mother was paranoid even then and decided I was too quiet. She checked on me and I had the ENTIRE pacifier in my mouth – nipple and guard. She said my eyes were bulging slightly and I was turning blue – obviously I hadn’t figured out how to breathe out of my nose – and she had to pry my mouth open a little to slide her finger in to pop out the pacifier. I was instantly pissed and cried for hours. From that day, my parents never used another pacifier.
The second story involved our next door neighbor.
Noelle was exactly one month younger than I. She was also addicted to her pacifier. She had to have one at all times to the point of shrieking hysterically that she’d lost her “passy” at my FIFTH birthday party. Her parents literally had decorative bowls around their house filled with pacifiers. Should a passy not be found – like in the middle of the night – her father would go rushing to the nearest all night drugstore (not an easy feat in 1975) to get another. My parents expressed their disgust of Noelle’s passy addiction by furtively stuffing their pockets with all the pacifiers they found at the neighbors house and then throwing them away. I, too, was guilty of hiding Noelle’s passys – mainly cause she was such a little brat about them.
As for my use of Pacifiers with Phoebe – well, sometimes she likes them, sometimes not. Last night, she was really fussy and wanted nothing to do with a pacifier. Only laying on my chest would calm her down. But sometimes, if she gets really agitated, we swaddle her tightly (how long does that work?!?) and pop the pacifier in her mouth. She’ll calm down and go to sleep.
So what have you said you’d never do, but did?