Un-Reality

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While my pregnancy isn’t a secret to most folks we know, I can’t help but be afraid sometimes that I should have waited a little longer before I shared the news. I have to admit that I’m afraid that it will all go to hell. I am scared to death that we’re going to walk into that ultrasound next week and they are going to say “sorry, it was all a mistake. The baby is completely deformed and won’t make it another month.”

“You’ve been sick and nauseous and excited for no reason”.

All the books and all the mothers I know verify that this fear is real and they all had it. But that doesn’t help much.

We tried for so many months and I was beginning to think that we just weren’t going to ever have our own child. Now, I’m frightened for this one.

I can’t feel you yet little one. And to some degree you still don’t seem real. But believe that you are so wanted. Your momma has wanted you for so long and can’t wait to see you.