Had my parents lived and not divorced, they would have been married 39 years today.
Don’t let anyone fool you. The divorce of your parents at any age is difficult. I was 29 when my parents got divorced and it was rough on all of us.
Truthfully, I don’t know why they stayed married as long as they did. They got married September 20, 1968 in the living room of my Uncle Larry and Aunt Bunny. They separated June 1998 after my grandmother passed away and divorced December 1999.
On their first anniversary, my father asked my mother what she wanted as an anniversary present to which my mom responded “A divorce”. A scant month later, I was on the way and my mom’s request wasn’t granted.
The first decade of their marriage was passionate. They fought a lot and they loved a lot. I still remember seeing my dad kissing my mom. The second decade, it’s like the love was gone. They fought constantly and viciously. The threat of divorce was ever present. However, in the last decade, they mellowed and were more like roommates than a married couple.
I think that deep down, they did love each other. When my dad died in 2002, my mom was grieved. She wanted to go to the service both to support me and to honor my father. But she felt, rightly so, that my dad’s family would be nasty to her and she really didn’t want to cause a scene.
A few days before she died, mom was in the middle of one the last periods when she was awake and sort of making sense. The cancer had reached her brain and most of the time, she was pretty addled. She was talking to me and Moo when suddenly she said “Your dad went to the store and he’s been gone a really long time. I wonder when he’ll be back?” My dad had been dead for almost 2 years at this point and I did what any person would do. I told her he was ok and that he had run into someone he knew and was talking – something that my dad did on a regular basis. She said, “Well go tell him to hurry on up home.” I told her I’d go tell him and I left the hospice for the evening. I prayed as I went home that my dad was watching out for her.
Happy anniversary momma and daddy… I miss you both so much.